Three Holy Men & A Bear!

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11 Jun 2014 03:34 #411 by MissExhibitionist
MissExhibitionist created the topic: Three Holy Men & A Bear!
Three Holy Men & A Bear!

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher & a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee & to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard; a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it & attempt to convert it to their religion. Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches & had various bandages on his body & limbs went first. "Well" he said: "I went into the woods to find me a bear & when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me & began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him &, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb." The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion & confirmation.

Reverend Billy Bob, the Baptist, spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm & both legs in casts & had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed: "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out & I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him & we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another & DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him & BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!"

The Priest & the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast & traction with IVs & monitors running in & out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up & said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

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